In recent events, Palmer Primary School’s polar bear mascot was sadly stolen from the schoolgrounds. The mascot’s donator, none other than Cosi The Hutt was absolutely furious, going as far as to place a bounty on the thief’s head.
The bounty has attracted many different individuals from far and wide, seeking the reward for the capture of the thief. Amongst them is none other than famous bounty hunter Boba Fett, who was recently sighted making a pitstop at Spot On Outdoors in Berri, loading up on netting, harpoons and knives.
We caught up with Cosi The Hutt and asked him to explain exactly why he thought this petty theft warranted a bounty. He had this to say:
“Ches ko ba tuta creesta crenko ya kolska!”
He refused to elaborate any further when prompted.
Cosi The Hutt had also recently expressed his displeasure after finding himself banned due to his statement in a local newspaper:
“Some gutless piece of crap flog has stolen the polar bear…I hereby place a bounty on the head of the person that stole the kid’s polar bear”.
He was absolutely shocked and confused that he would be banned over calling someone a flog. He simply couldn’t think of anything else he had said that could possibly be the cause.
So keep an eye out for Boba Fett and other ruthless looking folk in the region during this dark time. We at the Riverlanderer wish to recommend that no one approaches these bounty hunters, as our intern received a harpoon to the head after snapping a picture of Fett.
The Riverlanderer will provide updates as the story develops.