Author Archives: Lance Charles

The Berri Council has today announced details into the next phase of the Berri Riverfront renovations. “What we noticed about the road prior to upgrades, was the lack of enjoyment when driving it – just a straight road with no excitement. With the first batch of upgrades, we managed to incorporate elements such as tightContinue reading “Phase 2 of Berri Riverfront Renovations Announced – More Twists and Turns”

The iconic Monash Playground twin towers are planned to be taken down via controlled demolition later this year, after receiving several complaints about their associations to the late twin towers, which were targeted in the historic 9/11 terror attacks. “How do I explain to my kids when they ask me why the Monash Playground hasContinue reading “Monash Playground twin towers targeted by concerned parents over 9/11 associations”

The Renmark riverfront upgrade set to release this year has been scrapped and is back in the early planning stages. Afraid of not living up to expectations, the Renmark council has explained that they wish to deliver an impressive final product, and the current plans were “not looking good”. “We want a riverfront that RenmarkContinue reading ““Let’s start again” Renmark Riverfront to be scrapped and redone once more”

The Ministry for Foreign Affairs has announced today that China will begin construction on a new megacity located in Central Australia. The city of Xinghuazheng will be constructed over the next 5 years, and will play a crucial role in Australian-Chinese relations. “Xinghuazheng will have a huge impact on our country. Even though it’s inContinue reading “New Chinese mega-city to be built in Central Australia”

A deal was signed today between US President Joe Biden and Facebook CEO Mark Zunkerberg to implement a China communist news policy for Facebook. News articles will now only be accepted from Chinese ran companies, leaving Australians with no other choice. “It must be done in order to only show the truth.” Said president Biden.Continue reading “Joe Biden signs deal with Mark Zunkerberg to implement Chinese communist news policies on Facebook Australia”

A heartwarming story, owner of the Glossop corner store has ended the day with a bang, after experiencing his best day of sales yet. A “hidden gem” of the Riverland, with many praising the owner’s customer service skills. “He’s always kind and helpful, always shoots us a smile when we come in”. As stated byContinue reading “Glossop small business owner shoots for the stars”

Great news for residents of this small town! Loxton is currently ahead in votes for the prestigious Golden Abbott award, which along with it’s great reputation, comes with a shiny golden statue to be proudly displayed in the town center. The Golden Abbott award is presented by ex-Prime Minister Tony Abbott himself, who will beContinue reading “Loxton a current front runner for the prestigious “Golden Abbott” award”

Amongst the chaos that’s came with COVID-19, it’s still good to stop every now and then, and just catch up with your mates. Our field research team has came up with the top 3 locations in The Riverland where you can stop to have a chat. 3. In the middle of a supermarket aisle That’sContinue reading “Top 3 places to stop and have a chat in The Riverland during the COVID-19 pandemic”

Supermarket giant Coles has announced today that its plan to increase the size of car parks to accomodate the social distancing rules has been scrapped, after field research determined that people don’t even park within the lines. Coles spokesperson Oliver Gray stated: “We researched 3 separate Coles car parks in Adelaide, and every single carContinue reading “Coles to scrap new “social distancing” car park scheme after realising nobody parks within the lines anway”

In a touching display of community spirit, hundreds of locals have gathered together in an effort to help those less fortunate. Remnark local Angus Walsman stated: “The idea came together when I realised I had a freezer full of meat, and my neighbour had a freezer full of veggies, and we thought if we allContinue reading “Heartwarming! Hundreds gather at community BBQ to share stockpiled food amid COVID-19 crisis”