Author Archives: Lance Charles

Results from a shocking new study have been released today by the CSIRO’s infectious disease department, revealing insights into COVID-19’s infecting process. The study shows that right-handed people are 90% more likely to catch the virus over those who are left-handed. “This is possibly some of the most groundbreaking research we’ve ever seen into COVID-19’sContinue reading “Right-handed people ‘90% more likely’ to catch covid – new study shows”

The bustling town of Berri has come to a halt this week. A town so full of life has been reduced to desolate and lonely streets. The reason? An unruly pack of savage canines, patrolling the streets and attacking those who dare to leave their houses. Authorities are still investigating where the pack of dogsContinue reading “Berri residents ‘afraid to leave the house’ as pack of wild dogs terrorises the town”

Rememberance Day: The day where we reflect and remember those who sacrificed and served in the war. Traditionally in Australia, we participate in a minute of silence, starting at 11:00 am. The Berri council however, has taken a different approach this year, cutting off the entire town’s power supply for an hour. “A single minuteContinue reading “Berri council enforces Rememberance Day ‘minute of silence’ with 1 hour of no power”

Barmera residents have once again taken to the streets in protest, as the council has made the statement today that they still have ‘no current plans’ to drain Lake Bonney. This statement has caused outrage amongst the townspeople, many of whom say the lake is ‘unsightly’, and ‘scaring off tourists’. “It’s an eyesore, nobody hereContinue reading “Barmera residents ‘furious’, as council continues to refuse to drain the lake”

The Loxton Council has today announced it’s final plans for the renovations of the outdated main street public toilets. With the goal of creating ‘the public toilets of the future’, the council has invested a hefty $2,000,000 into the project. The council has promised TVs, a canteen with dine-in options, and even a fully licensedContinue reading “Loxton public toilet upgrade; TVs and canteen included in the $2m renovations”

Every day the fire danger season looms closer and closer, and changes are needing to be made to ensure a safe and fire-free summer. With the growing threat of fires, the Riverland Fire Chief Bernie Palmer has provided some safety tips to residents of the region, including a surprising hazard that not many people areContinue reading “‘Palm trees behind sheds’ the #1 fire hazard in the Riverland, top fire chief says”

There may be delays with the opening of Berri’s new pet store, a council spokesperson claims, after SA’s new laws on exotic animal ownership comes into effect. The new laws require a 3-month training course to receive the necessary license to sell or own exotic animals as pets. While originally boasting a large variety ofContinue reading “New Berri pet store delayed as exotic animal ownership laws tighten”

With the success of Renmark’s driverless bus trial, it appears that other towns have taken notice. Barmera is especially keen on the idea, with plans underway to implement its own driverless bus by the end of the year. Named ‘Bonney’, the bus will travel from the Berri CBD all the way up to Lake BonneyContinue reading “Driverless bus heads for the highway; ‘Bonney’ to offer rides between Berri and Barmera”

Local anti-vaxxer and anti-masker Hugh Joeff has been declared ‘no threat’, by the Covid Risk Analysis Board, after a through study on his lifestyle revealed he’s avoided by almost everyone. “People actually go out of their way to avoid him.” “His potential to infect is incredibly low, despite being unvaccinated and refusing to wear aContinue reading “Brave local anti-vaxxer declared no threat; ‘he’s single, no friends, people actively avoid him’”

‘Have you checked in?’; This is the question we’re all being asked these days. With a mandatory check-in system in place, SAPOL is reminding the public that everyone is required to check-in. “When we say everyone, we really do mean everyone.” “There’s no exceptions to the rules, every single living human who enters a businessContinue reading “3 year-old fined $1000 after failing to complete COVID check-in”