Author Archives: jimheath2

In recent events, Palmer Primary School’s polar bear mascot was sadly stolen from the schoolgrounds. The mascot’s donator, none other than Cosi The Hutt was absolutely furious, going as far as to place a bounty on the thief’s head. The bounty has attracted many different individuals from far and wide, seeking the reward for theContinue reading “Boba Fett Spotted In The Riverland After Cosi The Hutt Places Bounty on Thief’s Head”

With the emergence of COVID-19 a few years ago, the the music industry took a massive hit. But as the world has slowly gone back to normal, it has risen from the ashes with massive bands going back on tour…and this time the Riverland is on the map! Tribute band, the ZAP BOYS are headingContinue reading “Tribute Band Giants Coming to the Riverland”

The state government of South Australia met last week on the 31st of June to discuss numerous traffic related problems throughout the state. One of the most eventful outcomes of the meeting was the unanimous decision to begin removing overtaking lanes from country highways. “There’s no point in them being there as anyone going underContinue reading “Overtaking lanes soon to be abolished in SA”

It is no secret that most people like to try and save a buck or two. But when you live in a place like the Riverland, supporting local businesses is extremely important to keep the community thriving, despite needing to pay a little more. Many people would understand the need for the marginally higher costsContinue reading “Millions of pets to suffer as local psychic predicts the death of rural veterinary clinics”

The BBQ bandit is a notorious Riverland criminal, best known for their heinous crimes against BBQ’s, where they would use a BBQ and deliberately leave it filthy. Police were hot on the tail of this criminal mastermind before the trail went suspiciously cold a few months ago, resulting in them losing all hope of uncoveringContinue reading “New “sizzling” evidence puts police back on BBQ Bandit trail”

“If lockdowns work, why are we still in lockdown? If lockdowns don’t work, why are we still in lockdown?” – Dr Rodd Lakes Local self proclaimed scientist, Rodd Lakes recently spoke at a conference for Australia’s top medical experts, where he proved to the nation that lockdowns were ineffective with a very simple argument. DrContinue reading “Riverland man shocks medical experts with proof of lockdown ineffectiveness”

With COVID-19 wreaking havoc all across the world, the roll out of vaccinations has been a relief to most, with vaccines starting to make their way out into rural areas. However, the rising number of antivaxxers in the Riverland has caused the Australian government to rethink their decision to bring the vaccine to the RiverlandContinue reading “Carp set to receive COVID vaccine over ungrateful Riverlanders”

On the 25th of May 2021, the Berri-Barmera Council began trialling resized carparks at the Riverland Central Plaza to promote better parking from lesser skilled Riverland drivers. If the trial is successful, the council is planning on rolling out new carparks across the region. “If we can’t improve their aim, we’re just going to widenContinue reading “Re-sized carparks to accommodate lesser skilled drivers trialled at Riverland Central Plaza”

Riverlanders, and South Australians in general, are one of the luckiest areas in the world when it comes to the wrath of COVID-19. With under 750 total cases in SA since it began, you would be right in saying that we have fared pretty well, thanks to the strict but effective restrictions put in place.Continue reading “COVID-19 sign in proving to require too much brainpower for some Riverlanders”