A few days ago, the 17th of June, marked an important day for the head of journalism at our local trustworthy news outlet. That day is Lance Charles’ birthday and he decided that this year was an important one as he doesn’t actually know his real age “I just know that I was born on the 17th of June in The Year of The Tiger, so due to it being the year of the Tiger I intended to get a bit groovy.” It is not known how or why Mr Charles hasn’t got an official age or year of birth but it could be to do with his questionable past. There was no comment from him on this matter.
Lance Charles is often seen as the face of truth and professionalism by many people around the local Riverland area. This all changed last Friday night when he made the call to host a party with a handful of mates he’s made in recent years. “At first I only invited my work colleagues, Jim Heath and Callum Reagan. As you can see it escalated a fair bit from that.” Word quickly spread around the region, coupled with the fact that it was a Friday evening, many folks were interested on a big start to the weekend.
When asked about whether Mr Charles would like to apologise to his neighbours for the inconvenience caused due to the large attendance of his event, he responded “I’m not sorry for anything I didn’t do, I refuse to apologise for people having a good time and getting on their boogy shoes.” Lance also added “I’m only sorry for lighting up the dance floor with my moves when Tony Bassin made an appearance and played his hit tune.”
The cost of damage to the surrounding area is still to be determined however it’s likely that most of the damage was localised to Mr Charles’ backyard.
The Riverlanderer will update as this story develops.
The Riverlanderer 